


We're going to Palpatinopia!

by AslansCompass



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 09:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14542257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AslansCompass/pseuds/AslansCompass
Summary: The Phoenix crew takes some time off to visit a recreation planet. They also have some supplies to pick up. At the same time. For  imgoingtocrash in the May the Fourth exchange





	We're going to Palpatinopia!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imgoingtocrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imgoingtocrash/gifts).



"Guys, we've got a new mission," Hera announced as the rest of the Phoenix crew joined her and Kanan in the cockpit. "It's a supply run, but we're going to need all hands for this one." 

"Really?" Sabrine rested a hand on her blaster. "Heavily fortified location, then?"

"Actually, we won't be taking any weapons on this one," Kanan said. "It's more of an undercover job."

"So we're taking those two?" Zeb gestured at Ezra and Sabine. "Aren't they, like, the opposite of subtle?"

"Oh, right, because you can pass so well as a--what was it?-- 'rare hairless Wookie?'" Ezra snorted.

"That's enough." Hera said. "Actually,  Ezra and Sabine are going to be an intricate part of this mission. One of our suppliers managed to get his hands on high-ranking Empire uniforms and credentials, as well as a shipment of sharpshooter weapons. It will be invaluable for deep-cover cells and intelligence agents. But getting it out of the Core Systems is another matter. That's where we come in."

"Go on," Zeb said.

Hera called up an image on the holo. "This is our destination."

"Hey, I recognize that system... and that planet," Sabrine said. "That's Palpatinopia."

"The recreation planet?"

"The what?" Zeb and Ezra said at the same time.

"The whole planet's an entertainment park. Meant to showcase the 'glorious history' of the Empire. " Sabine spat. "Oh, sure, it's got all the normal kiddie stuff: TIE simulators, a petting zoo, mono-coasters, bands, beaches; but everything's propaganda. Ice cream flavors named after military leaders, a reenactment of Palpatine dissolving the Senate and establishing the Empire...."

"How do you know all this?" 

"My class had a two-week work trip. It was supposed to make us look to the future, consider what the Empire means to the common citizen. I got stuck painting fake clone helmets on kids. No way am I going back there."

* * *

"This shirt itches." Ezra muttered.

"You think you've got it bad," Zeb said."I can barely see through this mask. At least real Stormtropper helmets have air supplies."  The smartgoo model was a smoky, stained green and at least two sizes too small for his head. 

"I still wish you'd let me take the paint. This place could do with a little brightening up," Sabine frowned.

'"Tickets, please," a bored droid demanded.

"Three adults, two children." Hera slid over her chip. "This should cover it."

"Isn't this great, kids?" Kanan grinned. "Palpatinopia, at last!"

"Yeah, great!"

"I know, right? I wish I could have come here when I was your age."

"This place didn't exist when you were my age, _Dad_ ," Sabrine rolled her eyes.

"Is that guy selling sugar ships?" Zeb's eyes were wide with unfeigned excitement.

"Rides first, then candy." Hera said. "We don't want you getting sick, do we?"

"Aww."

"Candy, candy, candy," Zeb chanted.

"Enjoy your visit." The droid printed out five wristbands. "Please put these on. You can wave them at any point to purchase items, interact with exhibits, or receive event updates."

Ezra hung back slightly as they entered the park.  

"Hey, slowpoke, you're holding us up," Zeb called, 

 

"Come on, kid," Kanan said. "Your brother's right,"

"I just don't see the point. It's all kid's stuff, really. "

"Oh, so it must have been somebody else who was singing 'It's a Great, Big, Galaxy' all the way on the shuttle." 

"You were singing along with me."

"Only to cover up that horrible racket you were making."

"Well, you couldn't carry a tune in a bucket!"

"And you wouldn't know a good time if it walked up to you in a catana with cake and ice cream."

"Spoilsport!"

"Crybaby"

"Loser."

"I want candy," Zeb protested. "Come on, Mom, candy."

"No, rides first, rides."

"The simulators."

"The shows!"

"Alright, that's enough. We'll split up. " Kanan announced. "I'll take Ezra to the simulators. Hera, you go with Zeb and Sabine to the shows. Zeb can get his snacks on the way. We'll find you later."

Kanan winked at Hera before he and Ezra headed off in a different direction. 

"You're a good actor when you put your mind to it," Kanan told Ezra. 

"Well, it's not hard to pick a fight with Sabine. What next?"

"The park tracks our movement through the wristbands. But we can use that too. Our contact is monitoring the park's feed. He set up a specific path for both groups. Then he'll find us with the load."

* * *

 

 

"Are we almost there?"

"Right at the rancor cage, left at the waterslides..." 

"Wasn't it left at the rancor, right at the wareslides?"

"No, right at the rancor. I specifically remember the two r's. Kanan, is this going to mess up the plan?"

"I hope not. And you really should be calling me dad."  

"Yeah," Ezra kicked the ground. 

"I get that you're not excited about that part of the cover, but--"

"I know, being a family was the most logical cover." Ezra looked around. "Hey, that building says 'Rise of the Empire.' Wonder what sort of exhibit that is?"

The first few rooms were nothing special--cases of old Clone armor, a display on the accelerated growth rate.  At one end of the hall were small cubicles, each about the size of a fresher. Kanan stepped inside.  "VR suit activating."

 Nano-materials flowed from a nozzle in the ceiling, forming a translucent mask over Kanan's head. It went dark for a moment. 

 

> Chancellor Palpatine discovered the Jedi's treachery...

"Computer, off."

 

> Do you have what it takes to defend civilization? Join the brave Clone troopers as they take on the Jedi traitors!

The image of the Jedi Temple filled the screen. Brown-robed figures stood in massed rows, welding glowing sabers. 

 _Red_ sabers.

Kanan looked down at his own hands. The VR suit had given him a blaster. The same blaster model he remembers the Clones using.

 

> Kill the traitors!

"Off. Computer, off!" Kanan cried hoarsely.

The nanites dissolved. He stumbled out of the cubicle, his heart pounding wildly.  

"Ka---Dad, are you alright?" Ezra asked.

Kanan looked both ways. He could see at least twenty of the simulators, several with long lines. Even while he stood there, a humanoid male exited another, laughing and boasting about a high score.

"Let's get out of here."

* * *

 

After several hours of  (seemingly) aimlessly wandering the park,  the team reunited at a river raft ride.  As they exited, they were approached by a skinny Gungan with a merchandise cart. "Wanna costumes?  Mesa hava bess in park."

"Best in park?" Sabine held up an Imperial cadet costume. "I've seen better in the rag bin."

"We'll take it," Hera said. 

"We will?"

"Yes, we will," Hera glared at Ezra.

"Oh, right. Hey, can I have one, please?"

"No fair, if he gets one, I get one."

"If the kids are getting something, I want one too."

"Messa has blasters." And the salesman held up a bright blue blaster. One part fell off as he waved it in the air.

"We'll take it," Hera agreed. "In fact, let's get several. I'm sure your friends would love some junk--er, souvenirs, from our trip."

* * *

"We are never doing that again," Kanan declared.

"We did get the supplies," Hera pointed out. "And no one looked twice. It just looked like a bunch of cheap toys."

"Yeah, but at what cost?" Zeb waved a hand at the others. Sabine was soaking wet, trying to pick stickers off the Imperial uniform she was wearing. The fake tags and plastic decorations were hanging on by threads. 

Kanan's tunic was stained with vomit from the simulator ("real hyperspace jumps are _never_  that bad. Well, not unless you're being chased by an entire Imperial fleet, and even then, Hera could manage better using only one foot to steer"). 

Ezra was trying to carry a dozen blasters, with more sticking out of every pocket and hanging from every loop on his flight suit.  His cheeks were still covered in sprinkles from the last ice cream cone, and his nose was peeling from sunburn. "If this was one of the fun missions," he said, "I think I prefer the ones where people are shooting at us."

"Me too, kid," Kanan said. 


End file.
